The story of a relationship

This post comes with a warning. It is rather personal, and it contains poetry. If that is not your thing, come
back tomorrow, when we will have something crafty again :-).

These last couple of weeks, I have been thinking a lot about where I am coming from and where I want to go. 

What has become very clear to me is that I have to tell the truth. 

To myself, and to the world. 

Not because I am special, but because I am unique, just like you are, just like we all are.

If I do not express this uniqueness, it has been wasted on me.

When i was six years old, i knew that I wanted to be a writer. When I was 26, my first book was published.

When I was 30 I moved to Africa and lost my language. My man is a journalist, and here, he is the writer. 

He is the one playing with words. 

English felt clumsy and unfamiliar, and because I constantly sparred with a new language, my old one didn’t sing 

for me anymore.

Only occasionally, in the grip of strong emotions, I still wrote poetry. 

I don’t know if these poems are good or not, but I know that focusing your words, distilling them down until you 

have what you think is the essence, has such healing properties.

Recently, in my mind, I have started to link words again.

Here is the story of a relationship, in three poems:

1.

angel of the morning

bringer of dawn

soft touch of a memory

so gently drawn

from a heart that is waiting

from a soul that still knows

from a body in shivers

remembering vows

where were you my darling

while I was searching

what did you do

on those mornings long gone?

help me recall

and I help you recover

help me believe

and I help you to be

what we had

what we lost

what we found

what we treasure

all of it, angel

for the morning to see

2.

 

the only way out is in

the only way through is through

i wait and I beg and i shout

where did you go

where have you been

who are you

within?

sit with it and burn

sit with it and breathe

and then feel underneath…

breathe some more

become quite still

surrender control

surrender your will

let it come

you

life

me

just be

through the fire

through the pain

through the anger

through the blame

feels so good, feels so serene

resting within

then it all comes crushing down

purgatory

fury

and so sad

why why why?

set me free

no shortcuts in this game

sit and breathe and be true

the only way out is in

the only way through is through

3.

something comes along and opens you up

right down the middle

and who you thought you are spills out

the river swells

and the storm howls the dust of your soul

you know that you don’t know

and all you cling to crumbles

let your lovers love themselves

this is your calling

forced to be present

any other place unbearable

this is your gift

let life empty you

break you open

until you are

filled with light

Hugs to you,

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